Be. Happy.

One thing I doubt I will ever understand is the preaching to women about preparing themselves to be a good wife.  Like, there’s some type of handbook.  Like, we ALL have the ultimate goal of being a good wife, and that’s enough for our lives.  No.  I WILL concede to the fact that as women we are biologically, which transfers too psychologically, inclined to have children.  We know that scientifically speaking, a man is needed to accomplish this.

All that being said, not all women want the same thing, let alone at the same certain “appropriate” times in our lives.  Speaking strictly for myself, I want to be married and have children AFTER stabilizing my life, my education, and my company.  I have NO interest in sharing my life with a man, let alone create a life, when I’m not ready.  I know that at this point in my life, I’m finishing my degree (after only working for a few years), managing an office that is not my own and being Director of Operations for my company.

When do I have the time to dedicate to someone else’s needs on a very, very intimate level?  Creating secrets and having moments that only he and I share? I can HONESTLY say that my mind will not allow me to create that time, because right now, it’s not that important.  I have to be happy by my own standards first.  I will not attempt to “not be lonely anymore” with someone who isn’t for me, or I for them.  Been there, done that.  I am blessed to have AMAZING, REAL FRIENDS that I can count on in a real-life way.  I know that when I’m ready for that, someone will be just as ready.

So, Lady J’s two cents is this; DAMN THE NOTIONS OF “THE ACCEPTABLE.”  Be happy with yourself, your life and its path before inviting another person with their emotions and needs in.  Study, pray, clean your space (house and soul) of old hindrances, eat well, move often, be brutally honest with yourself, know yourself, and keep moving forward.  I feel that when you occupy your time with self-fulfilling (improving) thoughts and activities, the “usual” distractions tend to fade and real happiness begins to fill the void you’ve allowed to exist.

“To thine own self, be true.” –  William Shakespeare.


Lady J

Prettty Ugggly: A Chicago Stage Play

For those of you who enjoy the performance arts, Prettty Ugggly is Chicago’s newest play from one of Chicago’s finest playwrights, Calvin King.

Calvin sits with Lady O (The Lady *O* Show) to talk about the upcoming production…

For Tickets:

Real, Sad.

Saw this video via Thanks for this!

Children are not bargaining chips…This is the real-ness and vulnerability ALL MC’s need to be open to.  Hoping any reposting of this gets him signed!

Love, Peace and Hip-Hop

Lady J

For the men who don’t hear it enough…


Sup y’all, Lady J reaching out.  I’m writing this because I’ve just been feeling something in my soul for a little while and it can’t sit any longer.

This IS the Spoken Freely Blog,huh?

In all seriousness, as a young black woman I need to speak to black men briefly.  I. LOVE. YOU.   Far too often we hear, see and speak on how horrible black men are.  Too many news stories about the crimes some have committed and seemingly, that’s all we’re left with.  I’m standing on top of my mountain screaming, “NO!”

I know and know of too many college educated, generous, providing, kind-hearted, thoughtful, faithful, higher power acknowledging, knowledge seeking, fire-spitting, community reaching and teaching brothers.

(Yup that WHOLE sentence.)

I’m proud to know you and I appreciate all the motivation you’ve given me. I appreciate your dedication to your crafts, knowledge, community and family.  I appreciate all the things you’ve taught me and all the things I’ve learned.

So, as my lil’ love letter closes I will simply say…

Thank you.

All my love,
Lady J


I catch myself shaking my head at the kid who’s, bar for bar, reciting the lyrics a HORRIBLY inappropriate song on the bus, I’ll leave it to your imagination as to WHY it’s inappropriate (have fun).  Trust, I’m no prude…but I’m an adult.  I have MY idea of what is and isn’t for a CHILD.  Now it is at this time, I look at myself…

Am I wrong for being upset at this 5 year old with the sailor’s mouth?

Am I wrong for essentially demanding more from people?

Is there a general solution?

What are the series of solutions?

Which one can I be a part of?

These along with many other thoughts swim through my head, and I’m going to miss my stop…

MORAL OF THIS BRAIN FART:  The definition of insanity is to expect the same results in a cause/effect even after implanting change.  VOLUNTEER, MENTOR….Each one REACH to teach one!

“Dieting” – 12/2009

Yes that’s’ right I used the (“”).  I’m not sure if it’s just me and it JUST CAN’T BE, I refuse to “do it right” ‘til the food is done so.  I…I really just don’t see how it works.  I mean, granted there are some good healthy snacks and such, but they are really expensive.  So what is available to me AND my budget has an extreme taste of lackluster-ness.  Bland. Gross. Headed for the Lean Pockets *side eye, lean lol*.

May I be honest…? I am trying to get in shape.  So I have started a workout regimen, with a bff *smiley face* and started making more conscious decisions about what I put in my body.  However, as previously stated I REFUSE to put yucky tasting “healthy” food in my mouth and have to endure because it’s right? No ma’am.  (Oh, if only ya’ll could see the neck rollin’ to be inserted here.)

What’s in my fridge you ask? Welp, I’ve got some ground turkey, turkey bacon, brown rice, wheat bread, turkey (of the lunchmeat variety), celery and other assorted veggies, chicken wings (frozen), milk, eggs, etc., OH…and Ben & Jerry’s Mint Cookie Chunk (It Cookies n’ Cream AND Mint flavored, if you don’t know…).  In the paaantry I have rice, beans (also assorted),  Kix and Cap’n Crunch.  Yes, the ORIGINAL Cap’n Crunch! Ugh. It. Is. Just. So. Damn. Delicious. Lol

So, I have both the good and the “evils” of food in my home.  Please do not let everything, everywhere press you.  Honestly, just the workouts and new mindset, tummy-wise have added productivity to my 9 to 5 workday AND the business I started along with my two best friends (hence this blog, and the link to the site, plug).  Hey, I’ve already started to get my legs back!  So please don’t just “do right”, do right BY YOU!


SpokenFree ENT.

SpokenFree ENT is a multimedia corporation that acts as a conscience for the hip-hop industry by promoting socially responsible art that honors its craft and perpetuates both honest and positive images of the culture.

SpokenFree ENT’s goal is to promote a new wave of socially conscious Hip-Hop and spread a message of integrity and responsibility. SpokenFree ENT represents “The Evolution of Music, The Revolution of Hip-Hop” and we want to make Hip-Hop culture a more productive and unified outlet for the next generation, educating them on the roots of Hip-Hop and how to innovate, motivate, and make their music and their brand more receptive on an international level, connecting them to everyone everywhere.